How to keep boundaries with close ones | BEnergyAware Podcast episode #119 transcript

I bet a lot of people are very curious about today’s theme. And no wonder, because boundaries with family members can be very hard to establish, and even harder to keep.

Here’s one reason for this. By the time most people learn about boundaries, they are already in relationships where there are none or very few boundaries in place.

It all goes back to our childhood traumas. And so somehow we think it’s ok to tolerate certain things that really are not ok, and don’t work for us.

And let’s get one myth, or shall we say, misconception, out of the way. It goes like this: “Boundaries are only for the outside people, they shouldn’t be kept with family members.” This couldn’t be more untrue. And I’m sure a lot of people now in the year 2022 will actually be in quite a bit of reaction in regards to what I’ve just said.

What is also a fact is that people who cross the boundaries of others, usually have only a few or almost no boundaries in place in their own life.

So what would be the solution here?

It’s establishing a good relationship with ourselves and getting clear on what works for us and what doesn’t. And then, as we go through our life’s experiences, we do our best to honour that at any given time.

If we need time to ourselves - we need to take it. If we do not want to have a certain type of conversation or if we don’t want to talk about something – we need to voice it and communicate it. And when feel we are being treated with disrespect- we also need to be able to stop people when they treat us that way.

And if by some chance and for any reason it could be harmful for us to do so, we need to peacefully and slowly or sometimes even swiftly, remove ourselves from those situations.

These are of course just general guidelines. There are always situations that require a more detailed and more specific approach, and it can sometimes be difficult to decide on what’s best to do.

One thing that remains throughout it all for all of us, is - the relationship we have with ourselves. If it’s a good one and we’ve cultivated self-trust and self-respect, self-appreciation, then we have a good chance of establishing and keeping our boundaries, both in close relationships and in any other type of relationship.

I encourage you to work on this.

Let me know what you think about keeping boundaries. Message me on Instagram @beenergyaware or leave a comment. You can also get in touch through my website benergyaware.com. And leaving a review on Apple Podcasts is always so much appreciated, as well as sharing this podcast with your friends.

And if you’re wanting to cultivate a good relationship with yourself, so that you can set good boundaries, then get my audiobook Get Empowered, or get in touch with me through my website, to sign up for my Mentorship.

Take good care and I will talk to you soon.